Butt sweat

Yes that is what my day consists most of. It is now day 4 of my life on the road and this was a long one, I got up fairly early again and although the wifi at the White Sands Motel sucked it truly is such a cute, comfortable place and the lady at the front desk was so nice i highly recommend staying there. I ate a standard continental breakfast and loaded up the car to head to White Sands National Monument. I was really anticipating this part of the trip because i have never seen dunes before, let alone white ones in the middle of the desert and mountains. They were magical, so bright i could barely see.

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I enjoy long walks on the dunes

I enjoy long walks on the dunes

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I was debating to go to El Malpais National Monument, its a little over 5 hrs from Alamongordo, NM where the  white sands are. I knew that it was such a far stretch but hey I’m on a road trip,  the first few hours crept by but the scenery was amazing. I went through the Valley of Fire and i quickly realized how this area got its name. The rocks are black and look just like charcoal.

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I also went past this charming house with an adorable front yard!

Yarn bomb!

Yarn bomb!

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theres something like this in my home state of DE that i was just thinking about recently, creeeepy

there’s something like this in my home state of DE that i was just thinking about recently, creeeepy

dont mind if i do! maybe this will be motivation for me to actually read a book

don’t mind if i do! maybe this will be motivation for me to actually read a book

Meanwhile back on the road….

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Such a beautiful sky!

The roads are long, lonely, and terrifying but the scenery cannot be matched.

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I never made it to El Malpais National Monument, the visitors center was closed. It was about 2 hours out of the way but it wasn’t time wasted at all. I got well acquainted with miles of natural beauty that i used to only dream about.

Downtown Albuquerque

Downtown Albuquerque

So im spending the night in Albuquerque, i have been anticipating this town but honestly so far its been a disappointment, but i have say its not you Albuquerque its me. Ive been in my car for a lot longer than id like to come to terms with today and i thought i peed myself my butt was sweating so much, hey maybe i did. #heartonthehighway

Aliens, Caves, Graffiti and Trees ; all this wanderlust girl needs

 

Saw some awesome stalagmites, hung out with aliens and took an amazingly beautiful drive through the Lincoln National Forest. Feast those eye balls.

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the french man who took this picture kept referring to me as ‘madamoiselle’. I love him.

Stalagmites unite!

Stalagmites party!

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Next stop Roswell, bring on the probing!

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I come in peace!

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my attempt at that alien finger thingy

II was so giddy over how corny Roswell is! I love how they play up that alien shit.

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Cant even land an alien guy, get it….land an alien, cause theyre up in the sky on other planets and stuff..okay nevermind moving on!

 

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My next journey was equally as satisfying! Lincoln National Forest!

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sprawling and beautiful

I noticed a  dilapidated gas station with graffiti….

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and i decided to leave my mark image

Another day on the road, another night in a motel with shitty wifi.

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#heartonthehighway

Marfa Madness

So yesterday i started out on my southwestern road trip, i told  myself that i would post everyday but i was so incredibly delirious last night after driving over 7 hrs from Austin, TX to Marfa, TX that i could barely brush my teeth. The ride although long was beautiful. One of the first places i stopped to stretch my legs was in Alpine, TX right next to Big Bend National Park.

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I truly believe that every place in the world has character but i got the strangest unsatisfying feeling pretty much as soon as i drove into Marfa. I love small towns almost as much as bustling metropolis’. Texas is full of them, from Johnson City to Fredericksburg, but Marfa …..have you seen “The Hills Have Eyes”? honestly? There are countless boarded up houses and business’, stray dogs and cats, NOWHERE TO EAT and no people! What in the marfa fuck is going on? I read that a lot of places are only open on the weekend which is weird to me. It does have character though, just an eerie, strange, ghost town like energy about it that isnt very inviting.

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Random fake Prada store in the middle of the desert

#tuxedomouse in Marfa

#tuxedomouse in Marfa

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the only faces i saw while in Marfa

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On the way out of town i drove through another equally creepy small town even smaller than Marfa. Ladies and gentleman, Valentine, TX!

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Such a good photo op!

Such a good photo op!

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Sandstorm!

Sandstorm!

When the horses start mean mugging its time to leave, im out!

When the horses start mean mugging its time to leave, im out!

So yeah im missing Austin right now but its okay. I took a beautiful drive through the Guadalupe Mountains and im spending the night in Carlsbad, NM. The 4th motel i went to had a vacancy so i took a shower and here i am. The road is life. #Heartonthehighway

 

Lone Star State of Mind Part 2

BBQ. Enough said, im all ears (and mouth) when it comes to hearty, juicy, messy food, the less dainty the better. This past Sunday me and a few ladies ventured out to the beautiful Texas Hill Country to the amazing Salt Lick BBQ. I’ve had Salt Lick before but i had never actually been there and wow it is an experience, its like a compound, a whole community of like minded eaters.

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The Salt Lick has a winery as well so why not treat ourselves to a bottle of wine or 3

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Seeing this as soon as you walk in is more of a tease than any strip club could ever provide

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We were practically acting like cave women cussing and grunting about how good everything was,  or maybe that was just me

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the definition of torture is how it felt to stop eating long enough to take this picture

After we indulged we took a walk around the compound

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is that a living gnome in the garden smuggling wine?

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10 points to spy the living gnome in this picture!

We even took a stroll in the vineyards! Who cares if the gate was closed, we gave ourselves a tour!

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Drinking wine at a vineyard!

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full of glee!

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Reveling

But for real we didn’t just run up and down the aisles screeching obscenities and drinking wine from the bottle, sure we did that but we admired the beauty and scenery, i have never been to a winery before and it was amazing to see how immaculate the grounds were and actual grapes on the leaves, grapes that get turned into wine!

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Salt Lick BBQ being amazing is nothing new, i know i probably sound like that one guy who claimed a whole country and got a holiday out of it but it was really awesome and such a Texas experience y’all! Did i really just say y’all? haha. What also made the day so special was spending it with these ladies, i can definitely roam if i want to but sometimes even i want to share an experience and im so happy these ladies came along to roam with me!

Sashay away

Sashay away

 

Chante , i'll stay

Chante , i’ll stay

Okay, enough with the RuPauls Drag Race references, im allowed one every post!  Carry on, children!

 

Fashionably Surprised

When i bought a ticket to a fashion show for Austin Fashion Week i knew it would be fun but i had no idea how amazing it would actually be, yes ladies and gentleman Austin, TX is a fashionable city. Surprised? You’re not the only one, another surprising factor is the dress code to a fashion event!  This easy breezy girl was fashionably surprised.  You know in movies when someone shows up to a theme party and they’ve completely missed the mark? Yeah that was me Thursday night, as soon as i arrived i realized that when you go a fashion show you’re supposed to be fashionable. I felt like the i was on the cheer leading squad except i was the mascot but hey at least i was in the game!

Little farm girl with messed up hair got lost on her way to the prairie

Little farm girl with messed up hair got lost on her way to the prairie

The runway looked so fab and the models walking down it even better, the designers for Thursday night were Adrienne Yunger, Kucoon, M.E.Shirley, Ragg Dahl, Ross Bennett, Romey Roe, G.I.A.N., and s.t.e.f.

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Lights, camera, action! Time to sissy that walk!

Lights, camera, action! Time to sissy that walk!

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Not only were there fashions on display in the form of clothing but there was a marketplace with all sorts of accessories like handbags, shoes, and jewelry.

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By far my favorite was the shoes and accessories made by Teysha, they make custom shoes with awesome prints in Guatemala, I need to place my order ASAP!

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During the second half of the show i even got to move up to the second row when someone didnt return to their seat! She shoots, she scores!

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So after all the sashaying i witnessed i had no choice but to treat myself to some ice cream afterwards, as i sat there devouring my Irish mint decadence topped with brownie bites, gummy bears, pretzels, choc chips, almonds, and the kitchen sink i couldn’t help but  think about how i become more and more impressed by Austin everyday. There literally is so much happening that sometimes it can seem overwhelming but i guess an over abundance of fun isn’t a bad problem to have. Chante I’ll stay. (RuPauls Drag Race reference, you don’t know how hard it was to not caption every picture with “Werk Hunty!”) Okay carry on children!

 

Lone Star State of Mind Part 1

In the year or so that I’ve lived in Austin Ive had so much fun and done so many things that i never have before because there is SO much fun to be had here but i keep hearing about all these cool places outside of Austin that are not only fun but also really beautiful. A few weeks ago me and my friend Lauren aka Lo went on a little road trip to the Hill Country to see what really is deep in the heart of Texas.

1st rule of road tripping is to rock down to Electric Ave

1st stop on a road trip is always rocking down to Electric Ave

 

Bluebonnets are the Texas State Flower and just like everything else about this state Texans are very proud of them and on our little trip i saw them for the very first time!

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Driving, gossiping, and exploring can sure make a girl hungry so where else do we decide to dine but the Grand Central Cafe otherwise known as the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre house! Yes ladies and gentleman, you too can wine and dine in the very same house that Leatherface and his family once called home, how cozy is that?!

This place isn't anywhere near as cheesy as i wanted it to be but it does come equipped with a cute waiter and good southern comfort food!

This place isn’t anywhere near as cheesy as i wanted it to be but it does come equipped with a cute waiter and good southern comfort food!

 

The neighborhood behind the Massacre House (i don’t care about the real name of the restuarant is it’ll always be the Massacre House anytime i refer to it) was so serene and beautiful that we had to take a walk on what i’m pretty sure is private property

was there once a tree house up there? so cute!

was there once a tree house up there? so cute!

 

anyone remember that cartoon where the baby duck keeps repeating "water do gown the hooole"?? oh im the only one, okay nevermind moving along....literally

anyone remember that cartoon where the baby duck keeps repeating “water do gown the hooole”?? oh im the only one, okay nevermind moving along….

not quite a much of a dendrophiliac as Denise Fleming but i do love and appreciate the beauty of nature

not quite a much of a dendrophiliac as Denise Fleming but i do love and appreciate the beauty of nature

 

Me and Lauren stumbled upon even more natural beauty at Longhorn Cavern State Park, not to sound so much like the 80’s valley girl that i totally am but it was really cool you guys!

 

the cavern stays around 68 degrees so in other words this is the cool place to be in the summer in TX

the cavern stays around 68 degrees so in other words this literally is the coolest place to be in the summer in TX

 

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On our way back to Austin i could not help but pull over multiple time because there is so much beauty and character when you’re driving not on an interstate but on a road and in this case a  Farm to Market or Ranch Road.

I've only seen these kind of signs in the southern states, i dig them

I’ve only seen these kind of signs in the southern states, i dig them

 

.....and this little gem! Such a cute building? house? brothel? whatever it is used for i appreciate it!

…..and this little gem! Such a cute building? house? brothel? whatever it is i appreciate it!

 

I hope Texans don’t take this the wrong way but i almost forgot i was in Texas, this truly is a big beautiful state  full of so many things that surprise me all the time, BUT don’t let the southern hospitality fool you, they are always quick to remind you…..

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Fish in the water

Cliche? yes. Proverbial? duh. Relatable? always. Am i  diving in or just getting my feet wet? Im not naturally an impulsive person so making  rash decisions doesn’t only not sit well with me it also backfires, because well, i know better and the universe knows better and the universe knows i know better. Ive always heard the phrase “fish out of water” feeling out of place, lost, not knowing what to do, something i have always related to but what about a fish in the water?  Just because you can drive  doesn’t mean you’re never going to get lost, and just because a fish can swim doesn’t mean it cant sink. Even in your seemingly natural habitat you still may not have any sense of direction. Its a doozy and not a lot of humans like to talk about it because they all want to seem like they have their proverbial shit together but in reality they’re all full of proverbial shit.  Tis the season, tis the season to get lost, and say “Wow i cant believe i said that, went there, ate that, did that (or him)” and just simply have an experience. I used to think that in order to do what i wanted to do i had to have all  my proverbial ducks in line, i thought i needed a certain dollar amount of money, or i had to wait until this specific date but now i know that i can do anything. The most important thing i need with me when im fulfilling my daydreams is simply the will to do it.

Having boobs doesn’t  hurt either.

From East to SXSW

My feet are throbbing, theres a knot in the back of my neck   between my shoulder blades thats  incredibly tense, the crevices under my eyes are dark and deep , my laundry hamper is projectile vomiting every garment i own, food in my apt is scarce and traffic is so heavily congested I’ve had to park a mile away and leave hours early to secure a spot anywhere in this town, this ladies and gents could only mean one thing……SXSW. Sure,  it was a week ago but my body is still trying to recover. I don’t mind sacrificing  for fun, I’ll die for a good time, in fact i have many times. I’m like a fun martyr. Fun is something i stand for, ill march in Washington, ill go to the the moon, i’ll do almost anything, just let my people rage! South by (that’s what they call it around here, saying the whole phrase South by Southwest is too much for laid back Austinites) so yeah South by is something of a clusterfuck, there’s tons of people coming to the city i live in which i think is pretty cool! *Insert corny thumbs up here* No honestly, I’m not one of those people who wears a shirt saying “Welcome to Austin, please don’t move here”. I hail from the east coast and 85% of the people Ive met are from somewhere else just like me so Ive come to realize that finding a real live Austinite is like finding a precious stone, a four leaf clover, or bad pizza, its just so rare. I cant complain about an over saturated environment because not long ago i was one of those visitors taken by this town so much that i had to stay, it happens. I intern for the Austin Chronicle and was able to snag a music wristband which makes a world of difference when trying to see specific shows so you can kind of plan out your south by schedule. The Chronicle has a booth at the Austin Convention Center for the trade show and it was so much fun walking around snagging free t shirts and checking out new gadgets and business start ups, an adult playground especially for techies!

The Austin Chronicle booth at the trade show! download our app people!

The Austin Chronicle booth at the trade show! download our app people!

 

Word Press booth at the trade show!

Word Press booth at the trade show!

i had no good reason to take a picture other than the backdrop made me feel like i was on a red carpet *coughs (where i belong) *coughs

i had no good reason to take a picture other than the backdrop made me feel like i was on a red carpet *coughs (where i belong) *coughs

 

Check out my little video i made at the New York Times booth!

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The next day on my way to the bathroom i came across this and made $20!

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Although the trade show is really fun  i really enjoy getting lost and just being out there on these mean streets. There’s endless amounts of people watching, free food, beer, t shirts, stickers, cd’s, anything you can get your hands on. I wont have to buy another air of sunglasses for 5 years.

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Here i am trying to look cute with the Subway girls, eat fresh and free!

Here i am trying to look cute with the Subway girls, eat fresh and free!

More importantly than the freebies is the music, i mean we are talking about Austin right? I cant go anywhere without the smell of BBQ or hearing local live music and the music during south by brings in the biggest celebrities!

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Having a wristband or the even more coveted badge gets you into venues a lot faster than those without, it is a world of difference not having to wait in a mile long line.

I saw MGK and 50 cent on Tuesday night

50 Cent

MGK opened for 50, Ive known who he is for years but didnt hear his music until this show, he is such a talented performer who is clearly met to be on stage.

Caught the last bit of 2 Chains at Stubbs

Caught the last bit of 2 Chains at Stubbs

Tech 9, one of my favorite rappers from Kansas City! So happy to see him and Calico!

Tech 9!

This is Illya Kuryaki & Valderramas, they're from Argentina. I have no idea what they were saying but their sound was so amazing, i've never heard funk music in another language before, they were amazing!

This is Illya Kuryaki & Valderramas, they’re from Argentina. I have no idea what they were saying but their sound was so amazing, I’ve never heard funk music in another language before!

 

The Chronicle threw a day party and of course there was live music, this here is Magna Carda!

The Chronicle threw a day party and of course there was live music, this here is Magna Carda!

 

Bright Light Social Hour doing their thing!!

Bright Light Social Hour doing their thing!!

I even got my nails did at the party! Dont mind the wrinkled hands, check out those cool designs!

I even got my nails did at the party! Disregard the wrinkled fingers, check out those cool designs!

Pi in the Sky! Not sure of the significance but it was cool to watch!

Pi in the Sky!

I even got to see a living legend, a guitar god, rock royalty. SLASH.

I even got to see a living legend, a guitar god, rock royalty. SLASH.

#NEVERFORGET

#NEVERFORGET

 

Sharon Needles, winner of Drag Race season 4!

Sharon Needles, winner of Drag Race season 4!

Even at Home Slice where i work there was music! Right in our parking lot! #MXTS

Even at Home Slice where i work there was music! Right in our parking lot! #MXTS

For shits and gigs

For shits and gigs

The best part of South by for me wasn’t the planned out shows i saw, it was the serendipitous encounters with celebrities and its so weird because i NEVER see famous people ever! My first was Jimmy Kimmel at Home Slice, then Lady Gaga at Rain……

Hey Steph!

Hey Steph!

But the best and happiest moment came later on, after a late afternoon of stalking facebook, twitter, instagram, running all over the city (mostly the gayborhood) and bombarding a police offer that he had taken a picture with earlier i met him. HIM!!

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ANDY COHEN!!! Ive loved him for so long and was  practically on a scavenger hunt collecting clues  all over town trying to find him i finally got a hold of one of the only men who have held my heart. Desperation, shame, psychosis, all those things go out the window when it comes to true love! So yes my SXSW experience this year may have been exhausting  but it was one of the most fulfilling times of my life, and a fastidious girl like me cant say that too often. So the next time you are ready to poop out of the party just chug some Vitameatavegamin and stay strong (or conscious). Keep calm  and rage on!

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Hey There Lonely Girl

“Passion makes way through possibilities”

Where am i going with this?  Im trying to think of a great way to start this off but i have a silly slightly pretentious smirk on my face so lets just say I’m lonely and that’s not all i am but it has been a staple on my emotions for awhile now. For the past year and a half whenever i start a new journal i make a silent promise to myself that ‘this here journal will not be filled with the same sad confused stupid lonely girl emotions that took over the last one’ and you can take a wild guess how most of the pages were filled. In a way i don’t mind because i embrace how i feel. i like to think of myself as a positive but realistic person, there is always a bright side but if i stub my toe I’m going to yell ‘FUCK!’ and be annoyed, not forever but for a moment and ill embrace that fucking annoying moment as much as the happy ones. I am naturally a loner so solidarity  is crucial and imperative to my soul but still i never knew how it felt to be alone until this past year and a half. I don’t remember ever trying to make friends, I’ve always king of just had them and then when i moved away its like the world literally pushed me out there and unlike naturally learning how to walk and talk as a child adults don’t remember ever learning that so how do you make real honest friends?

There are a lot of surprising things that come up when you are alone in a new place, you are forced to learn a lot about yourself and how you deal with stressful frustrating situations when you don’t have the support system that you had back home also you get to see who will really be there for you when you really need somebody, that’s been the hardest thing for me. Expectations, why do we have them? We know better but we are still humans and we are stupid. It sucks to think you can count on someone and when the going gets tough they disappear, its a part of life for everyone but it is so GD disappointing, still its great knowing the few or less than few people who are there, they can be a surprise too.

My mom was in the Army and shes been my #1 supporter because and she gets it, she understands being away from home and the torn indecisive feelings that go along with that and shes been writing me letters (shes old school like that) which has inspired me to write letters to people and it warms my heart so much to open my mailbox and see a personal letter from a friend, to this lonely girl it means a lot.

Moving away from home is like  one of those things like having  a kid or getting married, everyone only talks about the good part of it,  they’re afraid to tell someone how hard it can/may be like they’re scared they might come across too human or something. I cant imagine not moving away, it literally rocked my world and now i know i can do anything but i’ll never sugarcoat it to anyone and tell them it was easy because its not. Its been hard and its better but its still hard, it wont always be but tis the season.

Corny quotes have played a big part in this season of my life, you know the “Never Give Up” quotes you’ve heard your whole life  well when you truly madly deeply need motivation they are the truest combinations of words. Simple and true, enough said, literally.

I know that i wont always feel this way but i do now and its a very important, probably the most important time so far in my life because i am so alone and that’s the only way to truly know yourself, by spending time with yourself and its okay.

I feel more passionate about life and the possibilities than ever before and its built my character so much that if i knew me before i may not even recognize myself because i see things through a different lens now, something that may have never occurred if i hadn’t been so alone.

 

Going There, Doing That

Live if she wants to, and i don’t see why not. Here are some of the things i love and enjoy doing and have been fortunately doing a lot of! I’ve always loved to go out and dance, but i was beginning to think that my frequent dancing days were over, that was before i attended Tuesgayz at Barbarellas. Bumping, grinding, sweating, vogueing, prancing, living,  dying is what occurs and i love it! Great music, random drag queens walking about and the occasional dance off between two gay men wearing high heels??!! I can’t think of much else id rather see.

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i remember RuPaul being famous in the 90’s and  being so impressed at how much she did look like a woman but that was it, RuPaul was the only drag queen i knew of besides Divine only because Hairspray is one of my favorite movies. It wasn’t until a couple of years ago my friend Natalie turned me on to RuPauls Drag Race which is now one of my favorite shows. Until then i thought drag queens pretty much looked like men dressed up as women and that was it but on Drag Race those queens put us biological women to shame! I gag every time they sashay down the runway,  they are stunning and so creative and charismatic. My first drag show in Austin was about 5 months ago, there’s a thriving LGBT scene and lots of drag shows every week, just last Sunday one of the queens pulled me out on stage and danced with me! I am amazed, shocked, stunned, and  left for dead every time i attend a show. They’ve also provided me with a whole new vocabulary!

Althea Trix, my favorite drag queen in Austin

Althea Trix, my favorite drag queen in Austin

Poo Poo Platter is a quirky local drag group that performs once a month together and they’re hilarious, disgusting and inappropriate, if that’s not a recipe for a good time please enlighten me on what is? Local queens also perform gigs throughout the week at local bars and one thing that i didn’t know was that the audience is heavily encouraged to tip them. Its like theatrical stripping in a way, except if their clothes come off its most likely because their garment wasn’t sewed properly or the rhinestones weren’t glued on tight enough. Lets hear it for the ladyboys!

Obsessed with drag queens? Bitch i might be

Obsessed with drag queens? Bitch i might be

Corsets, feathers, and nerve, those are just a few things that describe a burlesque dancer. It’s what us shy girls do in the privacy of our bedroom that a burlesque dancer isn’t afraid to do in front of a live gazing audience. Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve, and Talent don’t just describe the queens on RuPauls Drag Race it takes a lot of all of those things to perform the art of the tease. Its sexy, timeless, and engaging. It’s telling a story through dance by a woman who could be your next door neighbor, your teacher, or your mistress. Burlesque makes a girl feel sexy, brave, confident, bold, and in control, kind of  like Mae West.

Come up and see me sometime

Avant Glam burlesque troop in Austin

Avant Glam Cabaret

Avant Glam is one of many burlesque groups in Austin, they perform all the time and they are so incredibly talented and amazing. The dancing, costumes, and sketches make me want to run out and buy some feathers and tassles every time i see them perform!

Mee and Lilly LaFleur at the Christmas Cabaret

Me and Lilly LaFleur at the Christmas Cabaret

Okay so music, you can’t talk about living in Austin and not talk about music. I quickly realized that not only am i the only person without a bike i am also the only person without a band…or 3. Live music is everywhere and they’ll play it anywhere, i don’t think there is a place of business in this city that doesn’t have some sort of  a stage for a band to perform. The first band i heard play were my coworkers MegaBig, and they’re called that for a reason. It’s not country, it’s not easy listening, its  good ol fashion rock and roll. Check out their video, recognize anyone? hmmmmmm

Lastly (finally right! i always write so damn much) tonight although it was cold and rainy i went to Spiderhouse Ballroom because i heard theres a poetry slam every Tuesday night at 8. I sat in my room declaring that i wasn’t going to go because the weather outside was frightful and there was a$5 cover. BUT if there was ever a time i saw so happy i got off my lazy anus it was tonight, i seriously had the best time!! I even got to be one of the judges. Honestly i was nervous about that  because i believe that art is in the eye and in this case ear of the beholder but it was still a unique experience being a judge and such an overwhelmingly inspiring experience being there witnessing the raw emotions of these brave individuals exposing themselves for everyone to see and hear, most of them weren’t even reading from anything, they knew every word off the top of their head.

kkI’ll never forget tonight and not just because of the true, raw, relatable spoken words i heard but because i am so happy that i went out anyway even though i was tired, even though it felt crappy outside, i still went out and had a good time and took advantage of the awesome city i live in. It makes me wonder why not? Why not have fun? Why not experience something new? I’m not happy wondering, id rather just do it.